Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Worried.
An early start goes awry. The early morning dispute led to a rather stressful Monday. I, of course, was a bystander. Mind you, not an innocent bystander, but I was the type of bystander who could have done something. Had I said something to defuse the situation spoke up sooner, made a joke… something? There are no innocent bystanders when an accident could have been prevented. This wasn’t an unexpected train accident. This was years of neglect letting the rails and tracks wear and tear. This was a train wreck tragedy. That was my morning.
Noon and afternoon was about taking care of my mom. Someone has to; she’s been doing everything else but that [including taking care of everyone else & me]. I took her mind away from the morning. It was too early in the week to start feeling aches and pains, but she was feeling them. I actually took her to the chiropractor– very impromptu, but much needed. She woke up with a sore shoulder. An acute pain that spread to her arm. Her left arm… so that’s not good… [I’m not a med student, but I know when it could be serious]. The morning dispute didn’t help, but the message did reduce her stress level. We pretty much took the rest of the day off – work in the office was just busy work with little exchanges after we got back from our 4 hr lunch [perks when your boss is Mommy].
I’m really concerned for her health. I knew she was overworked, overwhelmed, and overly stressed… just…
You know how your Mom teaches you the soothing diffusing techniques the best when you were little, like when you fell and scrapped your knew pretty bad, and you’re yelling, hollering, and screaming? She shooshes you softly saying reassuringly that it’s okay she’s here, it doesn’t look so bad, everything is and will be all right. That’s the power of Mommies, and that’s why no matter how old you get, you’re always her baby.
Well, it’s that way when you’re away in college too – she plays down the drama at home. There’s no need to worry about that, because to her you taking care of yourself is all she needs of you. One less person she needs to shoosh… and tend to.
That’s why I need to take care of my shits. That’s why I need to get my life in order.
Very worried.
There’s only one person I know whose bled sweat and tears for me all my life.
